We at the ever-popular Boston Red Sox blog have taken it upon ourselves to find out what is ailing Jason Varitek. We have seen slumps from him before, but this one has been an riddle wrapped inside an enigma, inside of a paradox.
We have traveled near and far. Gone places many would not think of going. Sacrificed our bodies for any nugget of information to this curse. We are glad to say that we are safely back in our offices and - we have unearthed the cruel beast that has stricken Varitek with the inability to move the bat from his shoulders. We now know the reason he swings widely; almost purposely missing the ball as if someone has taken away his sight.
I know the masses have been sitting on the edge of their seats all day in anticipating of the announcement. Without further ado I bring to you the good news.
The winners of our contest are…
Matt H-C- This guy attacked our contest with such fury it can only be compared to the days my dad would use his fists in anger on our living room walls while watching the New England Patriots. (Did I say that out loud?)
ncsoxfan67 - Well it really wasnt furious, nor did it even slightly resemble anger, but this contestant came in second. Do people in NC even know what baseball is? I kid.
We hate to say we told you so, but it could happen.
The team is in the midst of it’s annual “Holy Shit, This Team Has Serious Issues” stretch. Cue up Shaughnessy and his rants - you know they are coming soon. Fellas, the long wooden objects you hold in your hands - those are bats. The quick rundown? You want to try and use them in a swinging motion to hit that white thing they are throwing at you.